Abuse has many forms. Physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological. Some are easier to hide than others. Some are harder to comprehend.
For victims of these forms of abuse, they’re hard to forget, leaving them and their families with lingering effects and sadly for others, it’s too late. Coercive control can be a key warning sign before a victim is killed by their abuser.
Some forms of abuse are harder to detect and recognise in their early stages. As time goes by and the abuse gets worse, victims are conditioned to believe it’s their doing, their fault. It’s not.
What is coercive control?
Psychological abuse such as coercive control is a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten someone and has been a criminal offence in the UK since 2015, as defined and reported in this BBC article.
3,300 men and women across the UK were asked whether they had personally experienced coercive control in a poll that had been carried out by BBC News and YouGov. 23% of women aged 18-24, a third of women aged 25-64 and 15% of all men who took part in this poll said they had experienced some form of coercive and controlling behaviour. You can review the poll results here.
In relationships, coercive control can begin as simply as getting the victim to change what they’re wearing, or manipulating the victim with reasons why they can’t go to family functions or something as simple as going to the shop down the road on their own, or at all. Ensuring their independence is revoked, and depriving the victim of any support or communication with the outside world.
The abuser will be highly manipulative in ways to diminish the victim’s sense of self, their freedom, their worth. Controlling every aspect of the victim’s life through fear.
Know the signs of coercive and controlling behaviour.
Most common examples of coercive control:
- being isolated from family and friends.
- taking control over your everyday life; where you go, what you do, who you see, what you wear.
- being made to feel worthless and insignificant.
- monitoring your movements.
- being threatened, humiliated, and intimidated.
- controlling your household and/or finances.
How to get help
If you are a victim of coercive control or can see this abuse pattern happening to someone else, you can get in touch with us at The Elm Foundation.
We can help provide a safe refuge, advice, counselling, and support. Helping you understand what’s happening and how you can break the chain that’s holding you or someone else under this behaviour.
